I am shy, self conscious, socially awkward, and lazy. But I am both servant to and lover with my stomach, it leads me down dark paths and around colorful corners, and I can do nothing but follow.
Latest-ish Posts
Family Size
My last couple years in High School my mother gave me $10 every week for lunch. There were these cookies that the Special Ed kids made every day that were sold two for $0.60. (Can I refer to them as Special Ed kids?) Since lunch was $1.75 that meant if I took a dime +…
Macaroni
While living in Ukraine I developed what I call ATFS or more colloquially — Afraid to Fart Syndrome. A year of diarrhea does not exactly impart a lot of confidence in the bowels. My condition came to a head while I was in a bus station bathroom taking a piss. I use the term ‘bathroom’…
Oatmeal
Food and eating is a huge part of everyone’s identity. Favorite dish, meal, drink, vegetarian, pescatarian, vegan; choosing not to eat something contributes to someone’s self food picture just as much if not more than what they do choose to eat. I feel that food became a large part of my identity early on. My brother was…
Gatorade
It was late November about 3:00 in the morning, so pretty goddamned cold. I had been pacing up and down Armitage for a good 20 minutes building up the nerve to try one more time. My left sleeve was torn, blood dripping down my hand, but I barely noticed as I hugged myself trying not…
Vodka
It was 7:00 in the morning and the sun was just starting to remind my legs who they belonged to. Ruslan and I had pulled over 150 kg (330 lbs) of fish out of the pond he had stocked the year before. He had done all the fancy work, dragging a net across the width of…
Grease
A person’s life is a blur marked by a few moments that shine out. Everyone remembers where they were on 9/11, those older than I can point to the Challenger, Berlin Wall coming down… The Cuban Missile Crisis? I’m reaching now. Weddings, graduation, birth of a child, first day on the job, the last… The points of…
The Pursuit of Noodle 